Sitting here trying to get myself motivated to go out and see a band I know. I force myself at times to go out socially so I don’t feel like a total introvert. .even as a teenager I would avoid gatherings with large crowds. In the past I would ply myself with alcohol & drugs to overcome my anxiety. Most of the friends I made over the years were associated with these activities. Now that I don’t drink or do drugs anymore…I’ve lost those relationships…so when I do go out it’s just me, myself & I. I usually don’t socialize or talk with anyone….I never know what to say. At least when I was drinking, I could unselfconsciously act like an ass and enjoy it (sigh)…Well not really sure where I going with this thread of thought, except to say I’m really tired of living like this.